Jokes are also interesting to learn a language. Many of them are the same in other languages but others are specially British or American, since they play with words, meanings and similar sounds. Read these jokes and have fun!
Teacher: If I had nine apples in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
Student: Big hands!
Wife: Do you want dinner, dear?
Husband: Sure! What are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.
Little Lucy was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbour looked over the fence. Curious about what she was doing, he asked 'What are you doing?'
'My goldfish died,' Lucy answered, 'and I've just buried him.'
The neighbour was surprised. He said 'That's a big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?'
Lucy finished filling the hole and replied, 'That's because he's inside your cat.'
If a lawyer and a tax collector were drowning and you could only save one of them, what would you do: read the newspaper or drink coffee?
Teacher: Thomas, give me a sentence starting with 'I'.
Thomas: I is...
Teacher: No, Thomas. We say, 'I am...'
Student: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
- What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up this morning?
- He said 'Where am I, Mary?'
- And why did that upset you?
- My name is Betty.
- What a strange pair of socks you are wearing today! One is brown and the other one is green!
- Yes, that is really strange. I've got another pair at home that are exactly the same.
- Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat for a lady.
- Well, you did the right thing, dear.
- But Mum, I was sitting on Daddy's lap!
A man gets home, runs into his house, slams the door and shouts, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!!!'
His wife asks 'Wow! That's incredible! Should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?'
He answers 'I don't care. Just go!'
There aren't many things upon this earth that make it seems like heaven, but one is to wake at half past six when you thought it was half past seven.
(Sent by Jordi Santamaria from Barcelona, Spain)
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Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary
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